Guilt Free...No Additives or Preservatives...

How is it at 41 that I am still driven by guilt every day in some way or another.
The messages my brain receives on an ongoing basis is rather frightening.
It seems as if it's never enough... or too much...on all fronts.

I am not praying enough...
Up early enough...
...drinking enough (water that is!)

Exercising or walking enough...
Sleeping enough...

I am not patient enough...
Calm enough...
Happy enough...
Disciplined enough....

And on the other hand...

I talk too much...
Waste too much time..
Facebook too much...
Watch TV too much...

Have too much computer time...
Work too much...
Eat too much...
Spend too much...
Yell too much....

TOO MUCH..... not enough

I am finding that a lot of what I do.... is guilt motivated and I am wondering if that is why change is not long lasting or consistent....

I am finding what is sufficient...for the day... is not related to me at all...

What is sufficient... ((not TOO MUCH or not enough...))

...is the GRACE of GOD

I am discovering again ( you'd think I'd get it!!) that His mercies are new every morning...
that His Grace is sufficient... for the day...

That understanding is motivation enough.

Like Rob Bell says in Velvet Elvis...

I need to kill my super-what-ever....

I am not super-mom, super-home school mom, super-wife, super friend, super-sister,
super chef.... super daughter... super ANYTHING!

... when I look around at others and compare myself to them and find myself in the state of
too much or not enough...

I am denying the Grace for the day...
I am denying the One who provided the Grace for the day...

As each day passes I realize more and more how I don't have to concern myself with the
REST of My Life...

I need only be concerned with today....

Today...as my grandfather used to say...

I am Sufficiently Sufficed!

Restively Rambling...

November is almost over...
Good grief... there's days I feel like I am hurtling towards oblivion...
And I don't mind a bit!

This hasn't been a good year for news.

I have people all around me diagnosed with terminal cancer.
People I love.
People who are loved by people I love.

And the world economy is swirling round the bowl...

Big things happening...

BIG
things.

Stamps won the Gray Cup....woot woot...
Obama won the White House....
Conservatives...win another minority in Canada...sigh

The wars.......deeper sigh...

Gas prices are down.
Grocery prices way up.

My youngest son got offered all manner of drugs at the local school ground just last week...by kids barely older than he.

Trying to find purchase on the slippery slope of life these days is getting particularly difficult.

Fear is rampant.
Ignorance is bliss.
Everyone is looking for a savior... not for their souls...
But for their STUFF...
We are desperate to preserve our way of life... our entitled...existence.
Now and even far into our perceived futures.

Did you ever wonder what it will really take for us to be driven back into community?
Where neighbors take care of neighbors.
People share...
Burdens and benefits.
We're so busy taking care of business and protecting our right to HAVE what we want and keep what we HAVE...
We're losing it all.

There's lots to think about now-a-days...
Cynicism wars with Hope...
Opinions are at a premium..
Emotions are running high...

Feelings can't be helped...but what I think/believe about what I feel can change how I behave.

Change
How
I
Behave.

It's a start.