Alive is good.
What is so amazing about writing that statement is that in the past few months
I have been wallowing in a reactive state.
What I mean is...I have lived my life in reaction to others choices.
I have been miserable.
Have you ever noticed how your happiness or lack of...
your joy or lack of.....
your peace..or lack of...
Is so dependent upon others?
We choose a position/make our decisions based upon others choices...their state of mind...their strengths..weaknesses...what they do or don't give to us...
We withhold or give based on our perceptions of a person's worthiness.
We live for the payoff.
Our joy is so utterly tied to acceptance...
Others accepting us.
Do what I want.
Be who I need.
Make me look good.
Make me feel good.
How transient is that?
I wander in my mind..sometimes months at a time..I fall deeper into a self righteous indignation at being deprived of what I think I need to sustain my happiness..
I place others in the untenable position of making/keeping me healthy and happy.
I am unhappy.
If only they...
then I would...
When they don't .... I feel....
If he doesn't..then I....
Life is precious.
Lived in seconds.
I can blame no one.
I can Love.... with complete abandon.
It is possible.
If I choose.
Where is the source of happiness found?
What is the source of lasting joy?
What keeps hope alive?
Where is the enemy?
In my mind.
The battle for my thoughts ..is fought second by second.
Life changes in a heartbeat...in a split second...
We all know it.
We hear the stories.
We see the images..... the seconds that change a life..for good or bad...
In just a second..if we allow ourselves..
We see someone... living and breathing.. as a miracle...not someone who is failing us.
We see a flower blossoming , smell it's aroma and revel in the miraculous...
We lift our eyes to the mountains.... overwhelmed by majesty...and worship.
We see life as not lacking...but full of potential...breathtaking.
...Sorrow and suffering as integral to the process of living as breathing...
There is Joy to be found and experienced in the midst... if we let it.
Be invaded today.
By a sense of the eternal.
Live your life.
Take a second.
Just a second.