Of Times & Seasons

Here we are in the final month of summer and I can feel the familiar panic hitting.
This is a common feeling experienced by those of us in the northern hemisphere above or close to the 49th parallel north.
Living in a province known for having snow in June and the possible return of the white precipitation in September, while meanwhile experiencing huge golf ball sized hail in the hotter months due to severe thunderstorms....these dog days are welcome.

Hot, sultry nights where the smallest breeze wafting through the window is a gift might not sound like an enjoyable time...but for every humid night in August there is a corresponding night full of furious winds whistling round the eaves of the house with punishing temperatures of -45 degrees Centigrade.

The older I get the more I find parallels between my life and the natural world.

We live in a world of extremes, a world of struggle and dominance and surrender.

A world of inevitability.

Spring follows winter.

Autumn eventually comes.

There is rarely any room for comfort zones for long.

I sat on my sofa last night with the front and back doors open waiting in the stillness for a breath of wind. The leaves hung limply on the trees. The air itself was heavy. A thin sheen of sweat covered my skin.

When the first leaves lifted, it was if the world sighed....and breathed again.

We lifted our faces and smiled in relief.

Anticipation is an amazing thing.

Anticipation is powerful.

It is so intimately linked to Hope.

The seasons come and go, eagerly anticipated for the changes they bring, the newness and unique experiences of a landscape transformed are a gift.

Today, I revel in the last days of summer: knowing Autumn approaches and harvest draws near.

The daylight lessens.
The shadows grow longer.
The frost comes.

Winter hits.

There are barren days ahead, darkness lurks....

Yet...

Spring returns. It emerges from Winters grave, pregnant with Summer.

Change, transformation.... tilling, sowing, nurturing, tending, harvesting... the fallow time.

These are the descriptors of my life.

God himself the vinedresser...
God himself the shepherd...
God himself the potter....

Transforming me into His image, for His glory alone.

Let the wind blow....

I surrender all to His capable hands.

I trust.

I anticipate.

I rest.

Just Breathe

Life is not going quite according to plan.
The specs on my summer somehow got mislaid along the way and I find myself nearing the end of August wondering what happened.
Night after night I lie in the dark, tears leaking from the corners of my eyes, whispering the name of Jesus over and over.

It is a plea?
Is it a hope?
Is it a crutch?

There are moments when I feel that I don't have the right to use His precious name.
Those moments are the ones when I cling anyways.
I cling tighter.
I grip with the strength of one going under for the third time.
It is not common sense... but an outlandish realization that: I have no where else to go !

Whom have I but you Lord ?

 The words escape my lips with every breath I breathe.

Just Breathe.

I have gone so far beyond reasonable faith.

I am past reason.

I will NOT let go.

I am declaring like the three who stood before the furnace:

My God will save me...and even if He does not: I will not bow.

He saves because of His nature.
He rescues, because of who He is.
His mercy.... is full of MERCY.
Grace.... unmerited... undeserved....unrelenting: is found in HIM ALONE.

Today ... stripped... standing in the light of day: I am the Least.

Not measured by possessions, education or station in life... but by what I have to offer in exchange for His perfection:

NOTHING.

I am last.

Unless He raises me up:  I am NOWHERE.

He makes me SOMEONE.

I am who He says I am.

He makes me His.

As I sit here alone the world fades, even as the sun shines in a blazing blue sky and I hear cars passing, the sound of children's voices and birdsong are carried by the breeze through my window:

Just Breathe, I whisper to myself.

Just Breathe, the Spirit whispers deep within.

The breath of God: my creator, my designer... sustains me.

I am because He decided I was to be.

I trust because there is NOTHING else, NO ONE else ....

I know I need Him.

I NEED HIM.

Like air.

All I need to do is: Just Breathe.

How's your breathing today?