Pain...the wise teacher

It's Monday morning..what do you expect me to write about!!

Good grief.

I wracked my leg/ankle/ knee two weeks ago and have been hobbling around and popping ibuprophen by the end of the day..

...for T W O W E E K S... count them... One....Two.... 1....2...

Sigh...confession time.

I don't do well with physical limitations.

I whine.
I complain.
I mutter.
I moan.
Drama drama drama...

Pathetic really.

I grit my teeth as I write because I am big on transparency...so all you who are on the journey alongside..this is me...

There are so many things I want to be today... that I am not yet...

But the first call of the day was from my husband...
He called to inform me that our van..wouldn't start when he got out of the paint store where he was picking up supplies.

IT is like the information went into my head and roamed around looking for a place to latch onto and start feeding....sucking the life out of me...
But it didn't...
It just sat there.

Trust.

I can't figure it out.
It is an incomprehensible concept when faced with an inscrutable creator...and a crazy world.
It obviously doesn't originate inside of me..so I just have to accept it as a gift from the one who knows me... best.

Sometimes things have to get so hard...so unfixable...so....uncontrollable...

For me to realize...that I am NEVER in control.

The topic of our devotional this morning was : Pain the Preacher (( I edited it for the blog title))

Here is the beginning quote:

"In the modern view pain is an enemy, a sinister invader that must be expelled. And if Product X removes pain 30 seconds faster, all the better. This approach has a crucial, dangerous flaw: once regarded as an enemy, not a warning signal, pain loses its power to instruct. Silencing pain without considering its message is like disconnecting a ringing fire alarm to avoid reeiving bad news. Pain is no invading enemy, but a loyal messenger dispatched by my own body to alert me to some danger."
Dr. Paul Brand

Later we read that: "..gratitude is the single response most nourishing to health.."
..and.... " The emotions of fear, anger, guilt, lonliness and helplessness increase a person's sensitivity to pain."

We were encouraged to consider what life would be like without pain... and the image I got was the image of the lepers in Calcutta....losing sensitivity to pain causes loss of limb and life...

Pain is a friend.
Life would be untold misery without it.

Today things are so far out of my control...so far out of my capacity to understand...

My heart is beating normally...my mind is at peace....

Trust....
Gratefulness...gratitude are rooted in trust.

God is good... because of his nature.
His goodness brings him glory.
Not my striving.

He is good...all the time...
Everything is under his command..his jurisdiction...his power...
Nothing escapes his purposes...
He doesn't lose...

E V E R


My soul waits.
Finds rest.
Is defined.
In him.

Then sings my soul...How Great Thou Art...

Today I count it all as LOST...

And part of me found...Him...much more satisfying....

My leg isn't fixed.
My van isn't working.
I don't have the answers.

Pain is present today.
In my life.
My body and mind registers the fact.

...but like the companions on the journey to the High Places with Much Afraid in the book: "Hind's Feet on High Places" ( Hannah Hunnard).... Sorrow and Suffering are necessary for transformation...

...they are what help bring about total surrender... a crucified will laid down in humility...a life offered in trust to the shepherd....at the last moment, Much Afraid asks the shepherd to bind her to the altar so that in her pain she does not turn back from him.
After the Shepherd tears out the root of self love from her heart, Much Afraid receives her new name: Grace and Glory, and her two companions are transformed into Joy and Peace.

Pain...is necessary...
...it exists under God's control...
...he nevers gives us more than we can bear...
...it is only temporary...he will wipe away every tear!

Pain is a wise teacher... I don't want to waste it..
It is what leads me... to where I truly want...need...crave to be...

Through.... the darkness...

Into His glorious light.

Teach me your ways...so I might walk in your truth...

No matter what...