I sat on the couch yesterday morning, half reclining with an ice pack on my shoulder and a hot coffee in hand...watching the snow swirl down on cold arctic air... on this, the second day of Spring. Weariness assailed me, built up from weeks of chronic pain and compounded by a sleepless night. My sons gathered round, anticipating our devotional time... I stare into their faces, memorizing, appreciating...thankful.
I lay aside our regular devotions and pick up 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp.
This book has become a companion these last weeks. a friend that whispers, provokes, cajoles, encourages and shatters.....
God is who he says!
I dare to read aloud to young minds, immature ...developing...my sons...
I am gripped with urgency:
In this world you will have trouble:it is everywhere..inescapable...here in front of you: in my very body: trouble with a capital T. ...
But... HE has overcome the world.
Do you wonder ..I ask..gazing deep into soul depths yet unexplored... inexperienced.... still unknown by their possessors...what is the will of God?
Can you know ???
Infants...still...embryonic faith...still linked to mother's resources....trusting her life source....tied...anchored
"In everything give thanks," ... I whisper into the day...into their fertile hearts....
" For this IS the will of God..in Christ Jesus concerning you!"....
I proclaim the last with bold assurance...and fragile body quakes...
They question , bewildered...... as they watch me shift in pain and wince...stretch out legs shocked by nerves uncontrolled...pale faced and shadowed eyes...fierce fire blazing hot deep within leaps outward...heart caught by truth:
It is possible.
It is necessary.
It is essential.
There is no salvation without thanks.
No true freedom...without gratitude.
"It is possible to say yes..and live no. "
I have in many ways...for years.
The yes way is narrow.
It is dangerous...unsafe...uncomfortable...pain-ful
It is a place of naked wanting. ..only God.
Knowing only him.
Whom have I but you?
It is here.
It is now.
I offer my sons, the deliberately woven in the depths...intended creations of a mighty God...
I offer them..their maker.
All in all.
I pray that they will hold up their "not enough" ...thank Him...and know that He is "more than enough".
That they will live and love and follow
That they will know the will of God....and give thanks...in everything.