Satisfied

" When we turn our back on the breathtaking beauty of God, 

we cast a shadow on the earth and fall in love with it.

But it does not satisfy."

John Piper in The Dangerous Duty of Delight

When I look around at my life.

When I poke into it's framework...it's weave....it's substance.

I find a dissatisfaction.

The days pass and the uneasiness grows.

The years pass and looking back I see the trend.

Don't get me wrong... I am happy...I have joyful times... 

..laughter mixed with tears...

success mixed in with failure...

I have believed in God my whole life.

I can't remember a time of not knowing.

This is a blessing.

But something is stirring.

A restlessness...

An awakening urge...

To look closely: to examine the extent of my belief..

How am I living?

What captivates my attention ?

What is the source of my joy ?

The cause of my discomfort ?

I have started to look at my days.

I know that it is those days that define me.

They tell the story of my allegiance.

My life is a book. 

Seen and read of by all men.

So the scriptures say.

I need to stop and read it.

My story.

I need to turn the pages.

I need to examine it closely:

What is the plot?

Where is the action happening ?

Who is the object of my passion?

What is the theme?

Why has it ended up here?

I think it needs some editing as it moves forward.

In some ways like Piper says:
I have mistaken the echo for the Original SHOUT.

The fragrance for the flower.

The picture for the experience.
The reflection for the real thing.

The copy for the original.

In many ways I have fallen in love with my own shadow.

My own reflection.My own reputation.

 No wonder I am unsatisfied. 

 " The steadfast love of the Lord is better than life."

Psalm 63:3

I was talking with a friend last night about this very thing.

I was trying to come to grip with the fact that my days mirror my loves.

If I want my life transformed I need to surrender those minutes, those hours that become my days.

"You made us for yourself and our hearts find no peace till they rest in you."

St. Augustine

I don't need to add to my days: I need to exchange.

I do have the time for prayer.

For meditation. 

For scripture.

For worship.

I just need to offer up something else.

Make a trade.

What needs to be replaced ?

Where does the time go?

TV.

Facebook.

Twitter.

Blog.

Texting.

Shopping.

Surfing.

Searching...searching..searching...

Count the minutes.

Add up the hours.

They are there.

I have plenty of time for face-to-face.
Yes.I.Do.

I want the light.

The flower.

The song.

The original.

The author.

I want LIFE....

 He is the life.

I want TRUTH.

He is truth.

I want LOVE.

He is love.

"God has put eternity in man's minds and filled the human heart with longing. But we know not what we long for until we see the breathtaking God. This is the cause of universal restlessness."

John Piper

When my stomach growls it has my full attention.

Food becomes my primary concern.

Satisfy the hunger.

Eat. Be filled.

My spirit is hungry.

My soul craves.

Nothing else will do.

I must turn and face him.

Fix my gaze.

Be captivated.

I will delight in him.

He will satisfy me.

Him alone.