Driven { Pain's GPS }

I woke this morning: screaming.

There is nothing like it.

I have no words to describe the feeling.

The struggle to find a place or movement...

...or position that ends the agony...

is all my brain can focus on.

I ended up on the floor on all fours crying.

Desperate.

and.

so.

i.

pray.

There are many branches on the path of life.

Options.

Choices.

I have made one choice that informs all the other choices to be made.

I have decided to follow Jesus

and

There's no turning back.

As I found myself on the floor this morning...

then being carried back to bed by my loving husband...

being gently held as I endured....

I did the only thing I could...

I turned to face the One who knows me...

The One who knows all about pain and suffering.

I cried out...

I made my declaration:

WHOM HAVE I BUT YOU?

Though my questions asked, may never be resolved...

In the darkness...

...my husband and I launched our broken selves...

and our limited understanding...

into the loving arms of our Lord.

and

we

prayed

and 

we 

worshiped

and 

we 

proclaimed

and

we 

trusted

"And we know that in all things God 
works for the good 

of those who love him, 

who have been called according to his purpose."

~~ Romans 8:28 ~~

What I know is this...

Everything that happens to us...drives us in one direction or another.

Towards:
Bitterness, resentment, alcohol, drugs, sex, money, anger.....SELF.

Or...

Peace, forgiveness, trust, hope, love, patience, faithfulness.... JESUS

I admit.

I am tired.

I am a mess.

I cry.....oh how I cry....

but...

"Those who sow in tears

will reap with songs of joy.

He who goes out weeping,

carrying seed to sow,

will return with songs of joy,

carrying sheaves with him."

~~Psalm 126: 5-6 ~~

I hold fast to the only sure thing.

The only sure One.

My only hope.

"But thanks be to God, who always leads us 

in triumphal procession in Christ

and through us spreads everywhere 

the fragrance of the knowledge of him."

~~ 2 Corinthians 2:14 ~~

Today....I will bless His Holy Name!