Well that struck a chord today.
How many hours of the day..and some sleepless nights...
...do we spend on thinking of what is better?
How many countless lives and life-styles..choices and family dynamics do I compare to my own and try to figure out which is better?
We live in a world designed to conform.
It has always been that way.
Counter-culture is not a safe road.
It is not a popular road.
It is not a comfortable road.
It is not guaranteed to produce successful human beings.
That is terrifying to a parent.
It is terrifying to anyone.
Who dares the journey.
We live by definitions.
We thrive on road maps.
Returns on investments.
Increase and expand.
PROVE. WE. ARE. RIGHT.
We have a clear idea of what better looks like.
This is the hands down winner by popular choice.
Our culture has applied itself to that aim.
You won't be successful unless.....
God help me.
Blue pill or red?
The scriptures say that the sole purpose of man is to love God and enjoy him forever.
Very little of our day allows for this reality.
In a life span of 80 years there are 29,200 days.
I'm over half way to that point.
Whatever happened to: Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere?
Calculated: a life time is approximately equal to a month in the presence of the Almighty!
Jesus came to serve..not to be served.
He owned nothing.
He lived with the outcasts.
His best friends were unwashed /uneducated fishermen
....and despised tax collectors
We befriend people like us.
In our society Education is God...Entertainment is crown prince.
The love of money is still the root of all evil.
How much of my time is spent in the pursuit of it?
And what it can do for me?
And my offspring?
In my mindset..decrease is not a fun word.
Less is a shameful state.
Ignorance and dependence...to be abhorred.
The least of these?
Shall be the greatest.
And yet we strive our whole lives to be the greatest.
We are so screwed!
I am not ignorant.
I am however more dependent than ever.
The more I understand...
The more I am torn apart...
I cannot reconcile.. the better and the real in my mind or in my heart.
Something is desperately wrong with this picture.
I will have lived 14,600 days by August 8, 2009
Is my life better?
Are my boys worse off by my choices?
Does my life look successful?
I know people watching are measuring...observing..deciding...
I do too...
What have I secured?
What have I guaranteed?
What have I lost?
The unseen is more real than what is seen.
Someone wise once said..that for every time you look into the darkness of your own heart..
...look ten times into the heart of God.
It is there I lay my whole trust.
I can't compete for better any longer.
I can't live with the measuring stick every day.
I need it broken.
This I know to be true.
My God supplies all my needs.
And I need him more than life.
His heart is amazing.
It is big enough to lose myself in.
I need to be lost...I need to decrease..he needs to increase.
Comfort be damned.
I want the real...not the better.
The red pill.
There is a difference between knowing the path and walking it.
We live what we know.
Knowledge puffs up.
I want to know Christ..and him crucified...
I want to know my Father...and let it be said as it was of Jesus...
I only do what I see my Father doing...
It doesn't get more real than that!