Confessions of the Undisciplined

You wouldn't know to look at her would you? She doesn't look undisciplined.
She would call herself spontaneous...
even impulsive....
She was a young girl once. Not so long ago.
She was so eager to please. So deeply insecure.
Desperately needing approval.

Can you relate at all?

She excelled academically.She excelled in sports.
She was valedictorian in Bible School.
Confidence grew...as she learned to trust more deeply in the God she was raised to believe in. The God of the Bible. Jehovah. YHWH. Jesus.
She recalls walking through the forests, fields and dusty country roads of her youth, reaching out to her maker...believing....

Did you walk those dusty paths too? 
Reaching for something you knew was there...
...someone...who knew the heart of you?

The minutes and the hours and the days rush by in a blur.
Where has that girl gone ?
Is she lost to age and experience?
Has she been totally taken over by the woman who regards the Word, prayer and discipleship, communion and intimate fellowship with God as OPTIONAL?

Is it optional for you?

Life is but a vapour...
This body will fall away..it is failing..aging...dying.
My family, precious gifts that they are, cannot compare to the One who gave them to me for a season. 

Can their needs outweigh my need of God..

my need to spend time with him? Do they?

There is no more precious future ahead of or behind me.
There is NOW.God is here NOW.  
That truth takes my breath away.

Do you see him? Can you hear him?

Grab your bible. Fall to your knees. 

Are you aware that you have always been His? 

That His sole aim is to reconcile you to Himself 

for His glory and His name's sake?

This is my confession today:
I have been an undisciplined child.
I know where my soul longs to be. I know what will satisfy. I am without excuse.
My knees shake as I bow. My hands tremble as they rise...lifted to the only One worthy of everything I have.
He will NOT be relegated.
He knows HE is what I need.
He is what you need.

And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, 

you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."

~~ Matthew 18:3 ~~

Are you struggling today?
Have you relegated time with God and His word to the optional column?
Is the battle raging ?
God has placed eternity in your heart...and HE alone can satisfy...
You are not alone...remember: He makes all things beautiful, He does all things well.

Will you come with me..will you worship and bow down?

Will you  become like a little child...

Not Done Yet

The faster the years go by the more I realize how much time I have wasted trying to fix others...cause..sheesh..don't most people need a good fixing!
IMHO.
Humble?
If I have to state that I am humble...
You can almost guarantee that I am not.
Today I marvel at my arrogance.
I shudder to think at how many hours I have spent voicing opinions...
challenging choices...
weighing...
measuring...
sifting...
directing...

My God.
Oh my GOD!
How can you stand me?

What is a life?
70-ish years if we're lucky...
Who am I to say...this is or is not the way?
To declare what a person needs to do in a moment of time according to "me"
We are all so unique.
Our approaches to life sooooo different.
Sometimes I forget to see the beauty of the life being lived out in front of me.
The processes by which an individual is being transformed...
They are not my ways.
"If it was me..."
"If I were you.."

But the scriptures say...

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD."  

Isaiah 55:8

When did I start esteeming my own opinion more than trusting the One who knows the whole story?
When did I start talking more and offering my viewpoint...rather than listening more and praying even more?

For every soul that I come in contact with..there is a story unfinished..a life in process.
A life overshadowed by an omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent creator.
He sees things radically different than I.
Things like:
Loss.
Pain.
Suffering.
Wealth.
Success.
Security.

If anyone who reads this blog today...has endured conversations with me the fixer..the talker..the opinionated self imposed life coach...I humbly apologize!

I used to say to people that it seemed as if it was much easier to trust others to ourselves rather than to God.
As if God needed an assistant.
I look back now and I see so much vanity....

Life is a unique path for everyone who breathes.
There are those who live in mansions.
Others in hovels.
Some have all the gadgets.
Others live off the grid.
Some watch TV.
Others abhor it.
Some love fashion.
Others...are poster children for the show "What Not to Wear"
Some worship in church...
Others at the shore or atop a  mountain.
Some eat vegetarian..
Others hunt and fish.
Some have many children..
Others none...
Some get over things quickly and move on..
Others take years.
Some divorce.
Others endure.
The list is ENDLESS...to infinity and beyond...

Where is the constant?
The common thread?
The connection with another living, breathing, soul?
It is the source of our lives.
The meaning...the holding-all-things-together part...

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

Colossians 1:17

At the ripe old age of 43, I stand corrected today.
Rebuked.
Chastened.
By a loving, perfect, patient God.
Who is all about process.
His way.

"...because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

Hebrews 12:6

For all you friends..family...
I offer an apology.
For the past mistakes of a girl in process.
His ways are far better than mine.
Kevin Prosch penned the words in his song: His Banner Over Me:

"He does all things well...just look at our lives.."

I am just so thankful..for today..the gift of today..mercies new...
...and the knowledge that for all of us still breathing...

He's not done yet.

Blessings on your unique journey...you're in good hands...