Sunday, March 8, 2009

Saving Daylight...and other assorted thoughts




















My husband crawled into bed in the wee hours of the morning and informed me as he rolled over that we were having a snow storm.
GROAN.

It was dark when I woke up.
And having lost an hour sometime during the night, I still managed to get up at 7am.
( read: so proud of myself)

Winter's temper tantrum sure put a damper on my enthusiasm!
This happens every year...for us Canadians.
EVERY YEAR!
And yet I hope... for the magic of Spring to wave her wand and presto-chango...
Snow be gone...ice melt away...
No boots..scarves..ratty gloves..mismatched pairs...and warming up my car.

I like instant.

I like the word Instantaneous.

I love the word Instantaneous...

It's applications are myriad...and the possibilities are endless...

It is a pretty big word to represent an instant occurrence.

Instantaneous Spring has a nice ring to it...

This morning I wondered where the daylight bank was....
I wondered when we had stopped saving and started spending daylight and why only in March did we get a clue and begin again?
I don't remember draining the daylight account.. if someone had told me I wouldn't have over spent!
I need more light!
Right now.

There are a bunch of sick guys in my house today including my baby.
Who is 13.
What a joy he is.
When I look into his face...
There it is ...
Instantaneous...
Love.
Bone deep...unquestionably...relentlessly bombarding my heart.

Is this how God feels?
I mean really...
I know I am not remotely perfect in loving...
But all He is is available to me ( the fullness of the God-head bodily dwells within my soul)
... and I like to think..his loving is so unstoppable...that is is woven into our DNA...

This love..is so not dependent on success...or failure...
Whether my son(s) accepts it..believes it...walks in it ..
OR not...
The love remains.

In a measurable..measuring world...

We have an immeasurable treasure..
An immeasurable hope...
Immeasurable peace...
Comfort...
Future..
An immeasurable NOW.

How deep...how long..how wide..how high..
Is his love for me...
For us?

MY second son...
Is awkward in his speech...
Struggles with insecurities that are bone deep... in his relationship to his peers..and to the world...
HE wouldn't mind my talking about this..
Simply because...
He KNOWS...
He is..
LOVED...
and Unfinished...
Where his insecurities seem so obvious and his social skills and communication skills are a work in progress..
There is something about him that sinks into everyone he serves.
Luke sees people.
Truly sees them.
And as he has said to me many times...
I am most myself and happiest..when I am serving.
Luke has hands that heal.
His heart is laid bare.
Sometimes it is hard to watch as he sees people...very clearly..
But he remains unseen. or misinterpreted...misunderstood
Avoided.
Left out.
Not cool enough.

Comparisons suck.

There is a light inside every person on the planet...
Our vision is impaired.
Having eyes we do not see.

The world does not need two people alike.
It needs individuals.

Each of my sons is beloved.
Unique...
Crafted..
Designed...
Purposed...

The one who defines them...
Never abandons them...

He never runs short of light...
His light is the life of man.

Today I laugh.
And cry.

I am such a paradox .

To the six billion other souls out there...

I declare.
You are worthy of love.
You were born of it.
It is why you are.

Walk in the light...

2 comments:

  1. Love the picture, and the thoughts to remember today. Makes me want to sing: "Light of the world, You stepped down into darkness... Opened my eyes let me see....."

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  2. Hi Juanita, I found your blog through another blog that was link to Lori-Dawn. Wow, I loved reading your blog. If I had unlimited hours in the day I'd go back to the first post and read them all. Your insight, humility and transparency are so refreshing and I find myself nodding vigorously in agreement with so many of your thoughts. Thanks for a refreshing pause in my day. Now back to my regularly scheduled homeschooling and general chaos!

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