In a conversation with a friend recently we started discussing the purpose behind our blogging.
We questioned the value of what we were doing.
What's the meaning of it all?
I open up my blog on any given day, click on new post and sit in front of the screen.
The questions pile up like laundry in my brain:
~ Why do you do this?
~ Who wants to read this anyways?
~ Why do you have to blurt so hard and so long?
Compelled is what I am. That's all I know.
Stacks of old journals sit on my shelf: full of years of laughter, tears and prayers, conversations with God.
Pages of passionate handwriting reflect everything from outbursts of temper to soul deep resolve.
I blog because I can. Because I must.
There are days where I wonder if what I say or share has any impact.
There are moments when bone deep insecurity grabs my throat and I want to scream.
There are things about me that I don't like.
There are broken places and messed up spaces.
There are shadows intermingled with patches of light.
I crave attention. I desire affirmation. I hunger for praise.
Along the way I have learned that attention from others does not satisfy, I always need more.
Affirmation always requires re-affirmation.
Praise needs to be repeated over and over and over again.
They are Black Holes unable to be filled.
Unless...the One who you turn to is eternal.
Unless..you go to the source.
His word forever settled. Unchanging. Far-reaching.
I have His attention: He gave Himself entirely for me.Suffered and died for me.
He affirms me as His own: Paid in full, bought back by His sacrifice.
I was not made for praise: I was not designed to be worshiped: but to reflect His Glory.
This is why I have something to talk about.
He is what I have to share.
Will you join the conversation?